A Wild and Woolly World

To be honest, for the last few weeks, I've struggled to figure out where to start when I sat down to write you.

A month and a half ago, if you'd asked me, I would have had clear answers to the big questions - “where are you headed?”, “how do you make a living?”, "what's next in your big life plans?"

And then love happened.

And all of my plans have been completely and utterly destroyed, in the very best way.

These letters have always been about authentic connection - between you and I, between me and my life, between you and yours.

And authentically, I have a really hard time telling up from down right now.

There was a general arc I'd planned for this year: New Zealand, Tunisia, France, Somewhere in Eastern Europe, Colombia, Somewhere in Southeast Asia. An arc to Ink and Feet: The 7-Day Sprint, The Change Monsters (finally!), adding a new class of amazing world-changing people to my coaching clients, building out Ink and Feet Press.

Now, I've just got a lot of I honestly don't knows.

I know this relationship I've ended up in is the real deal. Not puppy love, not you're-so-hot-and-this-won't-last-three-months. The real thing. The kind of "true love" I was pretty sure was fiction. You either settle, or you stay single. That's the gig, right?

But I'm rethinking that belief. And in the process, rethinking a lot.

I'll still be doing some traveling throughout this year - it's in my blood, and it's part of what makes me my best self - but I know even when I do, it won't be the same as it was. And I'm starting to understand that New Zealand is going to be a place I spend a sizable chunk of my life.

As I'm sure you get because you've been a reader of these letters - that's rather a shock. :)

There's a lot swirling right now - thinking back to when I had a genuine community when I was rooted in Portland, and the amazing organizations I had the opportunity to contribute to. The ways that friendships can build and grow when you stay still long enough to collect barnacles. The freedom and genuine right I've felt in my keep moving lifestyle.

And this week, friend, I just don't have any answers.

The world is wild and hairy and every so often, it just swallows you up. Whole.

And somewhere in the churn, eventually, some part of you catches. Maybe it's a foot. Or a finger. Or a knee. Or a nose.

But some part eventually catches, and you find your feet. Washed ashore in a new and wholly unfamiliar land.

And you learn how to start again.

Have a great week,

-Steven

p.s. The best thing I saw all week makes my heart sing, and it's been in the works for a while, on the quiet. It's poet Mary Kibbe's first (and rather amazing) book of poetry, published by Ink and Feet Press.

If you like words, beauty, and are enraptured by life with all of its love and loss and lust and longing, Mary's book is worth your read. :)