Waiheke, Aotearoa New Zealand

December 20, 2020

Proud.

This past week I've started reflecting on 2020 - the worst year so many of us can remember - and trying, among the wreckage, to find the best parts.

I've said to friends all year - if we make it to the end of 2020 alive, we've won. That's it. Everything else is bonus.

And here at the end, I'm trying to keep that perspective. Yes, it's been a really, really hard year where so much of my life is in shambles. But still - I made it to the end. I won.

And when I look hard, there's even some bonus. Things I feel proud of - even if picking them out feels like dumpster-fire diving. Things like:

These letters kept coming, every single week. 💌

I made videos (videos!) and some of them were pretty decent. 📹

I took a deep breath and did the scary thing, starting a Patreon - and it unexpectedly became the most wonderful, encouraging thing in my life. ❤️

I built a course platform from scratch, focused on privacy. 🔒

I made a really good course for getting unstuck, 🎉 , and then launched it right when everyone was feeling overwhelmed by the holidays and Covid. 🤦‍♂️🤣

Those things too, were 2020.

Honestly, when I look across my life, there's a lot I'm not happy about.

I'm ending the year feeling less curious, interesting, and interested than I started. My health isn't great. My human social skills and language skills feel completely atrophied. Overall, so much of who I am and what I like about myself feels inaccessible, far-away. Lots of survive. Very little thrive.

But also - all those things above really happened, too. Despite 2020. And you know what? I am proud of them.

I'm curious about you - what do you feel proud of, at the end of this terrible, terrible year?

Be well, kia kaha, and let's all make it to 2021.

-Steven

p.s. The best thing I saw all week was undoubtedly this pitch-perfect spot by Ryan Reynolds, to finish out the year. Enjoy the dumpster fire. :)

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