Confrontation.

I've been thinking a lot lately about confrontation. About the experiences in my daily life that confront me with ideas and facts and realities that are outside my normal experience, outside my comfort zone.

In Osaka, a few months ago - in a story I'll tell one of these days - it was a shrimp.

Here in Athens, it's been the pervasive and relentless winter, light peeking through clouds once every few days, only to retreat again. Gray light on concrete, a monotone kaleidoscope.

The news is confronting. The eyes of the octopus at the weekend market are confronting. Almost everywhere I turn these days has something uncomfortable to look at, to feel, to sit with.

This is the part where I'd normally say something about how I'm finding value in that, how it makes me think about the ways other people experience the world, how real growth never feels fun.

But the truth is that today, this day, I don't have any of those wiser, kinder thoughts. Today I'd rather find whatever the adult version of sleeping in and watching cartoons is, or have a good cry, or find a good heavy bag to let all of the hard feelings out onto.

The truth is messy and ugly and unpolished. It's doing my best each day, and having plenty of days where I don't feel like it was enough.

And, I suppose, it's having a bit of faith that time will take care of the rest. That I'll sit down to write you six weeks or six months from now having learned something, grown, built a stronger, kinder, wiser heart.

That no matter where I am in my life, I'm never there - there's no finish line. My job each and every day is just to inch forward, even a little, and see where it eventually takes me.

With lots of love, -Steven

p.s. The best thing I saw this week was an inspiring take on the apathy and too-cool cynicism of recent years - Nathan Zed's how trying became cool again.