Consolidation.

Of all the things that came from Esther Perel's popular Mating in Captivity, the line that's always stuck with me is this:

All organisms require alternating periods of growth and equilibrium.

When I first read it, all those years ago, it hit me like a bolt from the blue, explaining a part of my own life with a simplicity, clarity, and acceptance that was disarming.

See, behind the scenes here, my creative output is generally in one of two states - either I have too many ideas I'm excited about to work on and my days are filled up with making them and it seems like the output will never end - or there's nothing. No ideas, no sparks, no creative projects that lift my spirits and drop me immediately into flow.

When I left Japan, I had a half-dozen ideas for letters, two photography videos in progress, and things were clicking. Here in Athens, nothing. The old projects don't feel right and new ones aren't taking their place.

If I'm honest, what I'm most excited about right now is organizing. Pulling together all the scattered files for the novel into one place. Getting clear on what project is where. Nerding out over organizational systems and what to name things.

Making blank space. Cleaning. A place for everything, and everything in its place.

I'm in a space of equilibrium, of consolidation. ...and I honestly hate it.

But over the years, I'm getting better - little by little - at accepting that just like sleep, times like this are a necessary part of being a living thing. And, grudgingly, yes, also a necessary part of my creative work.

To try to see myself like some kind of crazy, world-traveling tree. Branches sprawling out for a few months. Then holding still, bark slowly covering, making them strong.

I've also never been sure what to write or send in times like these - my general strategy has been to build up a buffer, to try to ride the fallow times out. But today, with the craziness of the past month, I don't have a buffer.

So instead, you get a real glimpse at the odd and sometimes frustrating process that is trying to put creative work into the world, week after week.
And hey, maybe some of this resonates with you, too. :)

With lots of love, -Steven

p.s. the best thing I heard all week was Sofi Tukker's latest Portugese/English/Dance/Tango album, BREAD. Listen to it and don't move your body. I dare you. :)